I guess I decided to come back....

*Warning, Nothing is being censored, not events, not the truth, not words, ect*

Well I left to find out that point of life and to feel respected. Its been 3 months now, and to be honest, I have not made any progress. What I found of life honestly disturbed me.

One of the major reasons I left was because of the constant pressure of "the online group" of people I always talked to. Things were just getting bad. I was tired of fighting and being ignored, disrespected, Isolated. I did not even feel like a human a lot of the time I was online after September.

So I finally cracked under some pressure that was given to me by a girl that probably damn near saved my life. Katherine Rockwell. She shown me what my problem was in life and held me up when I was crashing, she stopped me about thinking about Suicide. I eventually made the hard decision to try to leave that life behind to protect others from hurting from my actions.

I had a great night the night I decided to leave, Katie and I went to a dance together and discovered that I do not have two left feet and got to talk to one of my best friends, Jeremy. We later went to dinner with my brother and sister and I got a painful reminder of what I left behind by having to ignore a phone call. But I continued on with having dinner then going to her house until 2am, staying up playing video games.

I later got really close with my best boy friends girl friend, Briana. She is always really nice to me and fun to be around, and she helped me when I was hurt. I did not talk to Jeremy or have anything remember-able happen till December.

December 12th, Katie and I stopped going out (it was exactly a month before that day). She was not comfortable with the whole dating thing, as it was her first real relationship. She now refuses to talk to me or recognize I exist.

Nothing much has happened since then, I still walk around lost, wondering why I continue to walk on this earth. I guess what finally sparked me to come out is I still feel the same I did before. Maybe somewhat better since I moved onto new friends and made tons, but still lost as ever. I still can not find someone that respects me the way I want to be, or that I feel like I can truly trust.


Well I guess thats all I got to say.
Leave a post if you have any interesting comments..